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Hello all! This week, I wanted to take the time to explain aromanticism to those who may not know what it is or who may be questioning if they are aromantic. I want this post to provide some general information about aromanticism, a little bit of how I came to discover my aromantic identity, and leave some helpful resources that may provide some context.
I want to start off by saying Happy Aromantic Visibility Day! This year is the first time it is being celebrated, which is huge for aromantics and visibility in both the LGBTQIA+ community and cis society.
So, what is aromanticism? Aromanticism is defined as a person who feels little to no romantic attraction. Aromanticism is an umbrella term, similar to asexuality, in that there are subterms that someone could more specifically identify with under the aromantic umbrella. A few examples include demiromantic, greyromantic, cupioromantic, and aegoromantic. There are lots more than just those few. If you are curious about other identities, see my glossary page! I have definitions as well as pictures of the flags that go with each identity there.
Like stated in my other discussion, the important thing to note about the definition is the “little to no attraction.” Aromantics can still experience little romantic attraction and identify as aromantic. Or if you feel romantic attraction that is more circumstantial i.e. needing it to be reciprocated, needing the other person to have it first, if you need an emotional connection with the person, these are all valid as well. Whatever your experience is, you are still valid as an aromantic or the umbrella term that fits you best. A great way to remind yourself, if you happen to feel any doubt, is to connect with some aromantic support groups. Places like Reddit and Tumblr are amazing ways to find others who have been in your position and are happy to help. My DMs are also open!
Now to the important stuff! What are the signs you are aromantic? I will have a list below, as well as a source where I did my research for you to check out. But, first, story time! I am not exclusively aromantic, but consider myself demiromantic. I found this out by being in a situationship with someone in college. I’m going to be completely honest, I felt platonic attraction at best to this person and didn’t think it would turn into anything/ didn’t suspect anything besides a friendship. However, they continued to push it further and I kind of just went with it because I was never in a relationship before and didn’t really know what to do. This situationship only lasted about three weeks, and progressed further than I was comfortable with. I didn’t know anything about asexuality or aromanticism at this point, and looked into it after the situationship ended. At first, I thought I felt sexually and romantically attracted to the person. After some processing, I realized I wasn’t sexually attracted to the person initially. There was a time I thought I was demisexual, and that I was emotionally connected to the person and that’s where the feelings I had came from. However, even more time passed and I realized that wasn’t true either. I didn’t feel sexual attraction, but rather romantic attraction. Hence, the demiromantic term was added to my identity. This is proof that your labels can change over time! You might not get it right the first time, and that’s ok! Whatever feels right to you in the moment is what is right, and when it changes, it changes.
General signs of Aromanticism are:
(Not all Aros) Neutral or repulsed feeling at participating in romantic activity
Feeling like you may or may not want a relationship without romance
(Not all Aros) Repulsive feelings about the thought of romance, to the point where you may avoid a situation with someone if you know romance would be present
You feel other forms of attractions besides romantic, i.e. platonic, emotional, sensual, physical, etc.
Feeling little or no romantic desire in situations where it would be common for alloromantics
Having no “crushes”
You can’t relate to romantic media, such as TV shows or novels
These are not the only signs of being Aromantic, but some common ones that a large amount of aromantics feel. If you are still feeling unsure, check out the link below or reach out to some aromantic support groups on social media.
Here’s an amazing link to check out for further research!
I hope this information was helpful in your knowledge of aromanticism and potentially your discovery of your aromanticism! If you have any thoughts to add, agree or disagree, or have any questions to ask, please reach out to me through social media or email.
Thank you for reading and stay true to yourself!