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Hello all! Because of some of the recent social media buzz, I thought that a post on the “aspec dress code” might be fitting. Special shoutout to Yasmin Benoit for not putting up with the cishetallo bullshit getting thrown her way. She’s our queen! Also, just as a warning I couldn’t really help myself but be a little mad in this post, so apologies for my emotional outbursts.
The cishetallo world is one that relies too much on appearance to tell them what they need to know about people. They also put assumptions on people for dressing the way that they do, when in reality people are allowed to wear whatever they want without it “meaning” something. Where do aspecs fit in with this? Well, now that asexuality is getting more attention with Yasmin Benoit becoming the Grand Marshall for NYC Pride, more and more people are now exposed to the asexual community, in particular. While it’s a great start at getting aspecs to be acknowledged, hopefully one day aromanticism and agender people will get their recognition too, we are receiving a lot of “negative” attention by those cishetallos who are ignorant and believe an outfit defines your identity.
For those who don’t know, Yasmin Benoit, asexual, activist, and model, has recently been criticized for wearing “scandalous” clothing and how it isn’t “asexual” to dress in lingerie. Those who have been criticizing her think that asexuals can’t look “sexy” because it isn’t “what they want.” But, looking “sexy,” especially as a career, doesn’t associate the person with having sex. I genuinely believe that those people (mostly cishetallo men) are saying the things they are because they lust after her and they know that she wouldn’t go after them. As if any of the models in magazines they keep hidden under their bed would go after them in real life either… Besides the point, Yasmin and many other asexual activists have been clapping back at these judgemental people and being heroes to the community. I’m not sure I’d be able to be polite, if I’m honest. But, to reiterate, clothes do not define you. Anyone can wear anything without it meaning something. And clothes don’t equal sex, and shouldn’t ever. And even if it did, asexual people can still have sex without the attraction. Those with sex on the mind all the time have a hard time grasping that some people don’t, and it’s comedic to me at times to see how closed-minded people can be. Like, you seriously can’t open the lid of your box and genuinely think for yourself or expand your mind past what you already know? Ignorance aside, it’s just pathetic! But, that’s what these people who feel the need to tell Yasmin and other asexuals how to live their lives are. Pathetic.
Now for the personal insert. I think if you are obsessed with outfits being the definition of your entire identity, you have a lot of growing up to do. By looking at someone’s outfits and assuming their sexuality based on it, you are judging them by their cover and that’s not ok. But, god forbid someone does the same thing to you because that’s “rude” and “terrible” and “doesn’t define you.” These ignorant cishetallo people are the most hypocritical, and literally walk around contradicting themselves and calling it logic, when nothing they say ever makes sense. That’s how you know it can’t be trusted. I’m all for treating others how you want to be treated, and they must want someone to bully them 24-7. They’re clearly compensating for something and want to stay miserable. Insults aside, I think it’s important for people to mind their business and let people exist the way they want to. Life is far too short to dictate how everyone lives. Imagine how much happier you could be living your best life without thinking about what other people are doing. It'll give you so many positive memories with your family and friends and you can spend genuine quality time with people. The best thing you can do for someone who doesn’t want to mind their business is block them, because unfortunately nothing you say will change their minds and it’ll only take away energy from you that could have been spent sharing aspec content online. Easier said than done, of course. But, ultimately, we will get the equality we deserve in due time.
If you have any thoughts to add, agree or disagree, or have any questions to ask, please reach out to me through social media or email.
Thank you for reading and stay true to yourself!