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Hello all! This week I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing a colleague of mine from my undergraduate! I wanted to get the perspective from another asexual person on discovering their identity to provide what the experience is like and to show how different it can be for everyone. I will post the question and answer, and occasionally sprinkle in some commentary if I have it.
Interview Questions and Responses:
Get to know the interviewee! Their name is Trash Mammal, she goes by she/her pronouns, and identifies as greyromantic asexual.
When did you discover you were asexual?
I was in college when I put the asexual label on, but looking back in high school I was definitely closeted after being called an awkward prude multiple times.
Ugh I’m so sorry that happened! It’s the worst when they say you’re a prude, when really they just don’t want to respect people’s boundaries.
Were there any resources that helped you during questioning that made you come to terms with your identity? (online or physical)
It was a mix of both physical and online.
It’s definitely easy to find online resources these days, which is amazing for those who have access to them. Physical resources are a little more difficult, but there are some great resources out there! I plan to have a post about Aspec representation where I’ll include a list of those!
How did you discover you were asexual? Were there any signs you were asexual from a young age/from past relationships that you may have overlooked?
My college roommate once told me “you like the idea of relationships, but not the meat of an actual relationship when you’re in one.” While back then I was a little offended, it was her kinda telling me “I think you’re aroace.” Fast forward later in college, JaidenAnimations came out as aroace and it was pretty much a mirror to my face. It was actually kinda relieving to me because I just thought I was a hopeless romantic, but nah. I just can’t feel sexual attraction and very rarely feel romantic feelings.
I’m glad you were able to find who you were! JaidenAnimations is an amazing account and a great example of aroace representation in the aspec community!
Is there any ace representation that resonates with you and you want to shoutout?
JaidenAnimations
Is there any insight or advice you want to give your experience to someone who may be questioning if they are asexual or on the ace spectrum?
Take your time to figure it out. Life may be short, but it’s not THAT short. There were loads of signs in middle/high school that pointed to me being ace, but I didn’t actually figure it out until college. Also another thing I wish I could tell myself when I was figuring this stuff out, if you’re scared about possibly “faking” your romantic/sexual orientation, chances are you're not.
Agreed! There’s no one way to be ace and figuring out takes time. The best thing is to try it on and see how it feels! There’s no faking, only trying it on and seeing if it’s true to you!
If you have any thoughts to add or have any questions to ask, please reach out to me through social media or email.
Thank you for reading and stay true to yourself!