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Hello all! This week I wanted to talk about asexuality types! A disclaimer, that this discussion will be exclusive to asexual discussion. This is because I am also going to have a discussion that is exclusive to types of aromanticism.
You may be asking yourself, what are asexual types? The types refer to asexual feelings towards sex. There are four “types” that I am aware of (please contact me if there are more I’m missing): sex-favorable, sex-averse, sex-neutral, and sex-repulsed. You may or may not have heard of these terms before, but if not you are about to learn! I will include definitions and discussion on these terms below, and these terms are also listed on my Glossary page!
I will start by discussing sex-favorable. Sex-favorable asexuals are those who have a positive view on sex and are more likely to participate in sexual activity. Unfortunately, sex-favorable asexuals receive a lot of backlash and aphobia, especially from heterosexuals, because “how can you be ace if you are participating in sex?” As discussed in my Attraction v.s. Libido article, sex is similar to a job in that you can not like the job but still go to work. An asexual person can have sex without feeling the attraction or desire to. Asexuals can also want to have sex with feeling the attraction to it. I talk about this in the Attraction v.s. Libido article as well, that there is a difference between “want” and “desire” that I distinguish according to what I believe them to mean according to asexuality. Asexuals can actively make the choice (want) to have sex with a partner for whatever reason they choose (commonly as a compromise or to support their partner) without feeling the attraction or desire to do so. If you are a sex-favorable ace, you are valid no matter what anyone says and you are still a part of the asexual community!
Next, I’ll talk about sex-averse asexuals. If you are a sex-averse asexual, you may feel a repulsion to sex to the point where you will actively avoid getting into a relationship if you know that sex will be a requirement for your partner. I admit, I only recently learned about this type, because I assumed that sex-repulsed asexuals were considered this. However, it is not true that sex-repulsed asexuals don’t want to be in relationships or will avoid them. If you are sex-repulsed and will actively avoid those types of relationships, congratulations! You are sex-averse. Sex-averse asexuals will most likely want a QPR of some kind, or maybe seek a relationship with another asexual who doesn’t want sex either. If you happen to find an allosexual who is willing to not have sex, that’s literally amazing. To conclude this little section, there is a difference between sex-averse and sex-repulsed in that averse will avoid potentially sexual relationships while repulsed won’t necessarily avoid relationships if sex is a possibility. You are a valid member of the asexual community!
Following the previous discussion, I will talk about sex-repulsed asexuals. A sex-repulsed asexual feels disgusted or simply does not like the idea of having sex or sexual activities. Unlike sex-averse, sex-repulsed asexuals may still want to be in relationships where sexual activities may be a possibility. As a sex-repulsed asexual, you may avoid receiving sexual interaction, but don’t mind giving it. Or vice versa. Or you may not want to be involved in sexual activity at all. Sex-repulsed asexuals are quite common among the community, and also is the main assumption that people make about asexual people. While it is common, not all asexual people are sex-repulsed and shouldn’t be assumed to be. Also, sex-repulsed asexuals may or may not be repulsed by sexual content, such as in movies, shows, or explicit content. However you feel as a sex-repulsed asexual, you are a valid member of the asexual community.
Last, but not least, I will talk about sex-neutral asexuals. Sex-neutral asexuals feel generally indifferent to the idea of sex or sexual activity. Sometimes you may label yourself sex-neutral if you feel your view on sexual activity fluctuates or is circumstantial. You may also be sex-neutral if you never think about sexual activity or feel “meh” about either way you could go. I also think that this type is quite common amongst asexuals, but not as common as sex-repulsed. Sex-neutral asexuals may also feel neutral about being in relationships with allosexuals or relationships that may involve sexual activity. If you are a sex-neutral asexual, you are a valid member of the asexual community.
Personally, I feel I’m on the spectrum between sex-neutral and sex-repulsed. These fluctuate for me depending on my libido or hormones. I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently as my consideration/focus on my sexuality has increased lately as part of a self-discovery journey I’ve been on. But I have observed when it’s closer to my period, my libido is higher. I noticed too sometimes after my period, my libido is literally nowhere to be seen. Another plug for my other discussion Attraction v.s. Libido, I breakdown that libido is more of a physical feeling whereas attraction is more of a mental feeling. Your type as an asexual may or may not be influenced by your libido. I also feel my type may fluctuate if I am in a relationship with someone, however I haven’t been in a real relationship before so it’s a hard call for me. If I end up in a relationship, I’m sure I’ll update you on how that has affected my asexual type.
For more information about the asexual type terms, check out this link:
This discussion is interesting in the sense that it can help you with your asexual identity by specifying your feelings towards sex while separating the attraction. I hope that this discussion was helpful in helping explain what these terms mean and in learning more about yourself as an asexual, if you didn’t already know. If you have any thoughts to add, agree or disagree, or have any questions to ask, please reach out to me through social media or email.
Thank you for reading and stay true to yourself!