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Hello all! This week I wanted to talk about aromantic types! A disclaimer, that this discussion will be exclusive to aromantic discussion. This is because I have a discussion that is exclusive to asexual types.
Similar to asexual types, there is also aromantic types. The types refer to terms that are specific to aromanticism and how you may feel about romance aside from the lack of attraction towards it. These terms are romance-favorable, romance-averse, romance-neutral, and romance-repulsed. I have these terms in my Glossary page, but I will be reciting the definition and what it can potentially look like for that alignment of aromanticism.
First, I’ll talk about romance-favorable aromantics. Romance-favorable aromantics are aros that have a more positive outlook on romance in relationships. Romance-favorable aros are more likely to be in a romantic relationship with someone. This is because they acknowledge that they may not feel the attraction or desire to engage in romantic activities, but they would be more open to participating to support their partner or they like the idea of it minus the attraction. There may not be many romance-favorable aros that are outward with their identity or have discovered this microlabel simply because of the aspec gaslighting. You aren't any less aro if you have a favorable outlook on a romantic relationship. You simply want to give that experience a try and provide that for someone you care for, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you are a romance-favorable aromantic, just know you are valid in how you feel and you aren’t any less aro because of your alignment. You are also a valid member of the aromantic community.
Next, I’ll discuss romance-averse aromantics. If you are romance-averse, it means that you not only dislike romantic activities, but you will actively avoid a relationship if romance is a possibility. If you fit in this type, you may feel somewhat repulsed by someone if they state their intentions of being in a romantic relationship with you, and also repulsed in general. I feel this is pretty normal cause, uhh, can we not? But, I also am not a confrontational person and these types of conversations are very awkward for me. Being romance-averse can make it difficult to find a relationship where the person wants to respect your lack of romantic interest, however I want to give encouragement to those who do want relationships. You can and will find someone who will respect your needs in a relationship, and not all hope is lost. QPR’s are a great option if you find someone you are compatible with and have similar interests to your needs. Romance-averse aros exist and deserve to be seen and heard. If you are a romance-averse aromantic, you are a valid member of the aromantic community.
Following this, I will discuss romance-neutral aromantics. You may be romance-neutral if you are undecided, have mixed feelings, or don’t care either way when it comes to romantic relationships. You may be more likely to be in a romantic relationship than the romance-averse aro, but less likely than the romance-favorable aro. I feel this type is quite common among aromantics simply because it’s a great label if you haven’t given much thought to your alignment or if you don’t really know what you want, whether that be from lack of relationship experience or you’ve been in relationships and never figured out exactly what you wanted from it. I can relate to that, but that’s for another post for another day. If you are a romance-neutral aromantic, you are a valid part of the aromantic community.
Last, but not least, I will discuss romance-repulsed aromantics. Romance-repulsed aromantics are those who may feel disgust or discomfort from the thought of romance. If you align with this as an aromantic, you most likely feel you won’t be in a relationship or the relationship may be completely romance-free. I talked a little about this in the romance-averse paragraph, but I want to restate for those who are romance-repulsed and want a relationship. You deserve to be in the kind of relationship that respects your needs, and although it may be difficult to find, I am manifesting that you will find a partner, whether it be a QPR or a relationship with an allo, who will respect your needs. And if you aren’t looking for a relationship, you still deserve happiness and validity. If you are a romance-repulsed aromantic, you are a valid member of the aromantic community.
Personally, I haven’t really explored my aromantic type. Luckily, writing about it has made me consider it more. My current thinking is, as a demiromantic, I fall somewhere between romance-neutral and romance-favorable. The complete opposite of my asexual type XD. It helps to consider it because I know more about how I can approach a relationship if it magically stumbles upon me. I love being prepared for any situation, especially if I know it makes me uncomfortable. Most aromantics, once discovering their aromanticism, probably feel very repulsed or averse to the idea of a romantic relationship as a way to connect to the community and to feel seen and heard from not knowing this about yourself for a considerable amount of time. However, this can change over time as you fit yourself more into the community, discover more terminology, and try the label on yourself for a while and discover more about yourself. This doesn’t happen for everyone, and some people are very knowledgeable about themselves in the beginning and are sure about their labels. However, I want those of you who go through many labels as you discover more about yourself that it is completely valid to change your labels from how you used to identify because you are learning more about yourself, as you will do for the entirety of your life. It’s a rewarding feeling to know and understand yourself for what can feel like the first time for some. It can also be a tough time when you try a label on and you later find out that you feel uncomfortable in it. This is a natural thing to happen being in the LGBTQIA+ community, that I feel isn’t normalized enough. No matter what, you are valid and welcomed through all of your changes in your life, including your labels.
Because I am sort of unsure about how I fit these categories, being demiromantic and romance-favorable/romance-neutral (for now), I wanted to give an additional resource for those who may need or want more information. This site is a great resource: https://taaap.org/learn/attitudes-toward-romance-or-sex/
This discussion is interesting in the sense that it can help you with your aromantic identity by specifying your feelings towards romance while separating the attraction. I hope that this discussion was helpful in helping explain what these terms mean and in learning more about yourself as an aromantic, if you didn’t already know. If you have any thoughts to add, agree or disagree, or have any questions to ask, please reach out to me through social media or email.
Thank you for reading and stay true to yourself!